The Independent (Gainesville) Florida Alligator – “Police round up: Battery, larceny; aggravated assault; robbery; burglary, resisting officer” – January 6^th:

Police arrested a Gainesville man Sunday afternoon after he broke into his neighbor’s house.

Carnell Hawthorne, 30, entered Samuel Keith’s house, located at 1218 NW 44th Ave., at about 5:30 p.m. through an unlocked door, according to a Gainesville Police arrest report. Keith asked Hawthorne if he was OK and Hawthorne responded, “I’m home, I’m coming in.”

Keith pushed Hawthorne out of his house, according to the report. Hawthorne then hit Keith’s car and ran to his own home.

When police arrived, Hawthorne asked for a second reading of his rights before telling the officer that he was Jesus and had come from the future, according to a report.